March 2010
5 posts
Dream Off
Whenever someone says "I had this really weird dream last night..." I stop them in their tracks. I'm afraid I'll have to pass on that undoubtedly very interesting story because it didn't really happen, it's completely irrelevant and is boring to anyone that isn't you.
The next person that says "yeah but it felt so real though.." shall get stopped once again with "I had a dream that I zoned out on you for ten minutes. You're about to make my dreams come true."
Bus Transcript. I Hate My Hat
A drunk man on the bus that smells like wee (but I'm pretending it's just smokey bacon crisps): You're not from Birmingham
Me: I know
A drunk man on the bus that smells like wee (but I'm pretending it's just smokey bacon crisps): No. I don't care what you say, you're not from Birmingham..
Me: I know I'm not I'm from Northampton!
A drunk man on the bus that smells like (but I'm pretending it's just smokey bacon crisps): Originally, you're not from Birmingham.
Me: I know I'm not, I'm from Northampton!
A drunk man on the bus that smells like wee (but I'm pretending it's just smokey bacon crisps): You're foreign.
Me: No I'm not I'm English.
A drunk man on the bus that smells like wee (but I'm pretending it's just smokey bacon crisps): Well you're not from Birmingham.
Me: I KNOW.
A drunk man on the bus that smells like wee (but I'm pretending it's just smokey bacon crisps): TED!? Ted! She's saying she's from Birmingham!
Ted: No she's not she's from London.
Me: No I'm from Northampton.
A drunk man on the bus that smells like wee (but I'm pretending it's just smokey bacon crisps): Ok where abouts in Birmingham are you from?
Me: NORTHAMPTON
A drunk man on the bus that smells like wee (but I'm pretending it's just smokey bacon crisps): London
Me: No!
A drunk man on the bus that smells like wee (but I'm pretending it's just smokey bacon crisps): Russia.
Me: What??
A drunk man on the bus that smells like wee (but I'm pretending it's just smokey bacon crisps): Nice hat.
